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    September 03

    Saturday Night Lights

    It’s a Saturday night. The house is eerily quiet and still. For the first time, I can hear the house. Noises that once fell in the background are calling for attention. It seems that I can identify every moving part by the noise it creates. Each component has it own personality. The creaks of the house settling adds to the score.  

    I find this chorus a bit unsettling. I try to catch an early night of sleep. After a short slumber, I awake exactly at 11:30. I have a strange feeling that someone is standing at the foot of my bed. But there is no one. I am alone.  

    I toss and turn only to find that I am no longer sleepy. A restless feeling overcomes me. I can no longer lay here.

    I try to find comfort in a deck chair on the back deck with a glass of wine.  The wine tastes different. Although I am sure the difference only is present in my mind. The taste of wine tends to take on the characteristics of  the company for which it is shared.

    The night air is still and quiet. I can hear the squirrels move through the trees. Looking upwards, through the branches and leaves, I see the stars sparkle. The lights of a commercial airliner move slowly cross the sky.

    The yard below is dark. Faint images of trees and brush are illuminated by the night sky. The leaves and branches are still. Periodically a faint breeze moves through stirring the brush carring a sweet fragrance from the flower beds

    Breaking through the stillness of the night, I hear the faint sounds of a distant radio or TV. It is someone singing. Not a perfect pitch but full of emotion. 

    I find a peace here that is calming and washing. The noises in my mind are settling as to bow before the wonderful view.

    It would seem that my life has taken a new direction. My schedule is no long set out before me. I can finally work on the projects that have been pushed aside. The garage walls need a new coat of paint. The lawn in the back yard needs seeding. The flower beds need attention.

    Although there is plenty work around the house, I feel as if there is unfinished business elsewhere. Perhaps I need to once again review my priorities. Is it the house or something/someone else that needs my attention?

    Perhaps it is what will bring me peace and happiness. Perhaps it is what will bring another peace and happiness.

    I am sure the night sky holds the answers to my questions. I am bound to spend more time below the lights of the stars until the answers are as clear as the night sky.

    August 30

    Strangers

    On March 4, 1993, Jim Valvano delivered an inspirational speech as he was being honored with the Arthur Ashe Courage Award. His body weak and being consumed by cancer, Jim Valvano required assistance to get on and off the stage. Once he arrived at the podium, he mustered the energy and courage to deliver one of the most inspirational and emotional speeches since Lou Gehrig spoke before a packed Yankee Stadium on July 4, 1939.

    Towards the end of his acceptance speech, Jim Valvano, as only a man living his last days could do, delivered this profound statement ;

    “I just got one last thing, I urge all of you, all of you, to enjoy your life, the precious moments you have. To spend each day with some laughter and some thought, to get your emotions going. To be enthusiastic every day and [as] Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Nothing great could be accomplished without enthusiasm" -- to keep your dreams alive in spite of problems whatever you have. The ability to be able to work hard for your dreams to come true, to become a reality. (Jim Valvano 1993 ESPY Awards March 4, 1993)

    It is a shame that a dying man’s words must inspire us to live our lives to the fullest. To enjoy life. To think. “Spend time in thought” as Valvano stated repeatedly.

    Thought…Reflection…Meditation. Many fail to spend needed time reflecting on their actions or their path in life.

    A friend of mine shared a recent experience with me. During a trip to the store, he saw a female acquaintance. He stopped briefly to exchange the usual greetings. My friend has always lacked self-confidence. Never felt comfortable talking with members of the opposite sex. His marriage of ten years ended in a heart breaking brutal parting that made the opposite sex seem even more alien.

    As my friend began to deliver a detailed recounting of his conversation, I quietly wished for speedy ending. He went on to recall every word…. “Hello, how was your weekend?…Fine and your weekend?” 

    “Goodbye, have a great day, take it easy” A conversation that remained strictly on the surface.

    The very next day he saw his friend in a car, crying. As she quickly looked up and recognized my friend, she dried her eyes, smiled, waved started her car and quickly pulled out of the parking lot.

    We all are ships passing in the night. We are all like marching ants…

    “Take these chances place them in a box until a quieter time”